End of boredom....I hope!

[sms777]

G'day boys and girls,
I have been offline for a long time now. The reason being as some of you may know because it is illeagal to drive without a licence which I haven't had for the last 8 years due to my own stupidity. I have now redeemed myself and promised our trusted commissioner of NSW police that i will do the right thing and will only drive cars with not less than 600 hp and will only leave 2 black skid marks on the road since it's dangerous to do a burn out with only one wheel spinning. It is printed on my new licence for all to see. If you don't beleive me dial 1800 bullsh#t. I am sure you will be directed to an operator that will speak broken english.
Anyways..... how about some fun to break the ice of the tropics.

A grass hopper hops in a bar and jumps up on the seat in front of the bar.
The bar tender looks at him and says" Hey we have a drink named after you!
The grass hopper says " What......Kevin?


Happy New Year!       

[silverz]

Hi Chris,
I missed this post while I was away. Welcome back from overseas and also welcome back onto the roads but this time no burnouts!!
 
Business man in 1st class to gorgeous air hostess, “What’s your name?”
Hostess, “Angela Benz, Sir.”
“Lovely name; any relation to Mercedes Benz?”
Hostess, “Yes Sir, very close.”
“How close?”
Hostess, “Same price.”