Beer & Colonoscopy....

[ozpont]

Beer & Colonoscopy
 
It was my first time visiting Dr Putz for a colonoscopy.
I went into his office for my first rectal exam.
His new blonde nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room.
She told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.
While waiting I observed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer
.
When Dr. Putz finally came in I said, "Look Doc", I'm a little confused.
This is my first exam.
I know what the K-Y is for,
And I know what the
glove is for,
 
But can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
 
At that, Doctor Putz became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.
He flung the door open and yelled to his new blonde nurse,
 
"Damn it, Evelyn !.........I said a BUTT LIGHT"

[Ness70Nova]

Love it! 

[69DirtyRat]

boom tish

[ozpont]

Two policemen call the station on the radio.

"Hello. Is that you Sarge?”

"Yes”

"We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.”

"Have you arrested the woman?”

"No sir. The floor is still wet."

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#2:
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."
>
> The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry for no reason, what they mean when they say 'nothing' is wrong when obviously there is something wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
>
> The Lord replied, "Do you want lights on that bridge?

[Ness70Nova]

That sounds about right!